About alcohol and string.

" Since i remember life was hard, being a kid, growing, and specially dying. Or rather the death of the ones we love the most. That was, is and will ever be the worst part of it, maybe that's the reason i became an embalmer. Making the loss easier that's all i seek. It was around 1963, when i was a young man (now it's called "teen") the first time death knocked my door. Literally i must say, because after the knock, when father Walter opened the small door at the back a beautiful young lady came in and said something about a car and a dog, a white small dog, just like mine.

  At that time i didn't understood why he didn't came back, Moises as i called my little puppy. Until one day father Walter came and told me what had happened, it was shocking for such a young kid to hear that, specially since father Walter was known for being very descriptive when talking. All i wanted was to see my puppy again, but all what was left was ashes. That day i decided my fate, to beat the death, i know it is not right to wish that. It is against god, but who is god to take us away.

 "


 

After a while

It's been a long time since the last time i was here, so very much that i don't even remember. From what i can see i was writing memories from my primary school days, when i was in love with a girl called Sofia. It was such a long time ago.
So let's talk about what has been going on lately. Guess i will want to remember this in the future... if there is any. But let's skip the apocalipsis for now.

I am functional. Or that is what i say to myself. I am working, i have a girlfriend and we live together. I have some friends, not that many ones but enough. I am 26 years old as of now. I have no mayor addictions neither crippling illnesses. My limbs are all where they should, regardless of some scars. I don't lack money but neither have enough to make a business. I have been working the last 5 or so years and was unable to finish college. This is me. This is about all i am.Sad.
The job i have is an enslaving 9 to 6 office one as a programmer and qa analist, i don't even make 300u$d by today standards, i try to save money but any attempt is futile, all is bleed out of me by the rent and the food and the bills. My job is dead ended, nothing will ever happen and i won't get a raise. I've tried to look for something else but i'm too tired to even apply correctly. The interviews i had were all a failure, my knowledge is rusted to the core and my motivation is on ground levels.
My girlfriend is a fat whale, short and without any charm. A depressive person who drains the little energy i have after my 10 hours outside, if you consider the commute and the 9 hours at the office. She used to have a cat, but it died last year of cancer, its disease let us broke after 2 surgeries and expensive medications. Last year was literally hell because of it and its still going. She cries on daily basis, has some depression attacs and can't even do basic things some days.

oops there she is at the door. Better write the rest later.

Bye, future me.